I can’t read what I';m writing really so I’m sure there will be many typos. But I thought I’d give y’all an update on current life inside Terri’s head rather than just whinghing about it constantly.
So, my short escapade ice skating on February 23 of this year has continued to kick me in the ass. Of course, having a second if even minor concussion a month later in PT was not helpful. Here’s what’s going on now:
I can oddly tweet because I can read about a paragraph or so at a time, then I need to rest my head for a minute or two. So at least I am not cut off from the world. It oftentimes gives me tremendous headaches to do so and I have to just shut it down without warning, and that sucks for people with whom I’m engaged in conversation. I get these blinding flashes of pain telling me it has been too much, time to stop. Not much I can do.
I went to my father’s beautiful place in the desert off Tucson Arizona. One thinks of desert as Lawrence of Arabia sand but it is really quite a vibrant place, in it’s slience and vast barren wasteland kind of way. Illegal aliens are something of a problem for dad as I guess a route for them goes near him, but I didn’t run into anybody sneaking in and so it was okay. Just to rest, to relax, to have no stumulus like blogging to get my head thinking. The idea is to minimize bloodflow and electrical activity to the brain, thus minimizing “further damage”. Not loving that phrase further damage. See the neurologist and orthopedic doc next week so it will be interesting to see if I’ve gone forwards or backwards.
My orthopod, who’s one of the best in the country in sports medicine hence very familiar with MRIs, took a look at the neurologist’s report and said if you were a pro football or hockey player I’d say you’d have to retire, it’s really a mess in there. Not so comforting. I suppose that soon I will undergo a second MRI to see how things are going. My shrink read the thing the other day and said “eww, well you really ARE a mess aren’t you? Let’s talk about disability”. Again–not comforting big guy.
I suppose I am very fortunate to have all of these people on my team. They’re all heads of this or that and they really do know their stuff.
What I know is that after two and a half months I still can’t drive a car, I still can’t read, working is a milllion miles away. One minute I am laughing at a kitten on Google and the next I’m crying my eyes out. Emotional lability is a part of it. I won’t be completely freed of these symptoms for up to a year. My balance is abit better, I’m not tipping to the right constantly. However I tip over to both sides now, which I suppose is an improvement.
I have lost all memory of my left hand on the piano. So I’ve lost six months worth of practice on chords. Which sucks but I can play songs I know already with my right hand. Reading new music is impossible.
I cant’ take public transportation due to excess noise and unpredictable motion. So pretty much stuck to where I can walk. I try to walk an hour a day, but since I live in a large bungalow neighborhood it gets old looking at little Chicago style houses, one after the other ticky tacky all in a row.
What progress has been made? Some, to be fair. I have much less pain in my neck, the whiplash lingers but not nearly as badly as it was. I dont’ go into near seizure when I sneeze anymore and since we are in high pollen season here just now that’s a nice thing. The constant blinding headaches and intolerance to light have lessened, which is a marvel as well. Although at the moment my ears are beginning to ring, signalling a flash of blinding pain that tells me to stop stop stop now you idiot.
I’ve been told it may be a year before I can run again. I can’t play my favorite coping game, Wii Hockey which I highly recommend. I can’t follow the puck or the players it is all just confusion.
I’m still having cognitive lapses all over the place. When sitting in the car the other day, wifey driving me home from shrink, I totally lost where who and what was happening to me. I didn’t know where I was, who I was with, what car this was (mine). I sorta drop into these holes and disappear. It is horridly inconvenient.
I could go on and on but my head is killing me. The message to get across here is don’t go ice skating. Ice is evil it will trip you up and fuck with you for a very long time in alot of different ways. Ouch, my head hurts.