The Chicken or the Egg?

Therapists love to talk about sex. Or at least that has been our experience over the past dozen years. Maybe it’s something to do with the sexual abuse that started for us when we were so so young or the sadism in it. Or maybe people who are drawn to the profession have this inner voyeuristic thing in them.

Or maybe the just like shiny things. Ooohhh, shiny!

Whatever the case, sex has always been a topic of great interest to every shrink and therapist we have ever had. Sometimes it’s been good discussion and sometimes it’s been as dangerous as a gun to the head. Fortunately for us we have a little voyeur kink in us so as long as an adult is out it works out fine.

Here’s what everybody wants to know. Are we a lesbian because we were mutilated primarily by men or were we lucky enough to be born this way?

Good question. Most of us have wondered this ourselves. It doesn’t really matter in the end because we love women. Love love love ’em. Big ones little ones smart ones and dumb ones. Girls girls girls. When a couple has a boy you congratulate the parents. When a couple has a girl you congratulate the world. We consider ourselves to be a part of the luckiest minority on the planet

We are finding that a big plus to this whole DID thing is that we can find out amazing things about ourself that had always been hidden from our view.

Recently we were sitting inT’s office and somebody in here brought this question up. They were talking about what we might have been had our life not stopped so early. T had a marvelous revelation.

Apparently there’s a five year old girl inside who regularly pops up to talk to her. One day this impish little thing says out of the blue “I like girls!”. Apparently we’d had crushes on and fascination with just about every woman who had crossed her path.

We told a story about telling this to our favorite aunt who said “well that makes you very special and very lucky. Not everybody will always think that but you are!”.

So THERE for all those folks out there who believe that lesbians can’t get a man or that joining the Other Team is commonly a result of childhood sexual abuse.

We adore women because that is who we are. Not from a necessary rejection of all men. But because we were just born lucky. I mean, some of our best friends are Those People but that doesn’t mean we want to sleep with them.

So there’s the answer. Phoo on anybody who ever asks us again if we just hate men from the abuse. We’re one of the fortunate few who gets to do it with women.



  1. me said,

    January 11, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    i knew i was a dyke from childhood too 🙂

    • January 11, 2010 at 1:05 pm

      Quite the relief to find out there’s not really a straight chick in there someplace, hiding behind trauma. That we find straight sex disgusting because it IS and not because we’re afraid. A win for self-esteem hah! One less neurotic fright is a good thing 😉

      • me said,

        January 11, 2010 at 1:54 pm

        i often feel a little guilty for my antipathy to straight sex. ah well. i was an abused kid.

      • January 11, 2010 at 2:24 pm

        Here’s how we look at it. Whatever floats your boat, right?

      • me said,

        January 12, 2010 at 2:57 pm

        i guess 🙂

      • January 12, 2010 at 5:44 pm

        We read a thing from this sexpert who said that straight sex on average runs 6-13 minutes. Hard to believe. I mean, who would put up with that? 😉

      • me said,

        January 12, 2010 at 5:59 pm

        i know some dykes who would 😀 not me tho.

      • January 12, 2010 at 6:05 pm

        I was just shocked! I mean ten minutes? How do you even know you were in the room? Hah!

      • me said,

        January 12, 2010 at 6:07 pm

        well, in bed, slow’s good. in public etc, fast works better.

      • January 12, 2010 at 6:10 pm

        Hah yeah nothing like a good fast f*ck in a public place. We stand corrected. 🙂

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