Diplomatically, Go To Hell

Dear T –we were stunned into silence last session when you told us that you were bumping into us in the virtual world and how that made you so “uncomfortable”. That seeing our name for even a split second bothered you apparently immensely. That you wanted us to move or go private on our blog so you would not have to be reminded that we exist unless we were on your clock.

Wow. You don’t want to be reminded that we even exist unless you’re getting paid for it? We would never expect you to work foe us for free. We are a psychologist ourselves, remember. But because we care about our clients we DO think of them from time to time and we don’t expect them to pay us for our general concern.

You lied to us. You told us over and over again that you care about us that you want for us to heal blah blah blah. It has all been just so much shite then, hasn’t it? If you can’t bear the thought of being reminded that we exist–that’s not giving one shite.

We feel immensely betrayed and violated by you. You have been just another human, there to betray our trust. There may be the possibility for trust for people who live in Pixie Dust Land, where children aren’t sexually and physically abused. But for us it’s apparently not possible to have any space where we can do so and not get punched in the gut.

Thanks to our faith in you, we are feeling this. You turned on that capacity in us and here we sit in the interminable 46th minute completely done over. We don’t know how we can possibly see you again. That filthy look and feel and smell of violation is on us now and Sad is bleeding all over everybody so much that we cannot see.

Go to Hell. Nobody gets to do that to us anymore. See you there.

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11 Comments

  1. January 30, 2010 at 11:00 am

    Are you going to end your relationship with her, Splint? Or have a showdown in session? I ask out of curiosity, really; I don’t have any words of advice. My therapist got all whiny when he found out I write about him in detail (see here), but I was lucky – he backed down the next week and now seems to tolerate my blogging.

    As discussed on previous posts, the fact that you anonymise your material means she has no right to moan about this. So I wish you lots of luck whatever way you decide to play this.

    Take care, hugs xxx

  2. January 30, 2010 at 11:53 am

    We’re filing it out just now, that question. We do not want to dump her and we have to get away from her ASAP. so. Will probably go in on Monday and light into her over it. It’s a tangle…..;)

  3. shadowlight said,

    January 30, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    hmm… Thinking… I;m wondering if after thi you will ever fully trust your T again? And if not then will you beable to work with them effectively?

    • January 30, 2010 at 2:59 pm

      The thing is that this feels familiar to so many in here. Been in constant therapy long enough to be suspicious of familiarity. Perhaps we’re screaming at somebody else, y’know? It is just all such confusion in here we can’t keep track of much of anything. Blah blah blah

  4. me said,

    January 30, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    it’s your space. this blog is your space.

    • January 30, 2010 at 4:18 pm

      Thanks, yes. Pretty much what we’ve decided to do. She can read or no we’re not hiding anything. Think we’ll move blog though. Pain in ass.

      • me said,

        January 30, 2010 at 5:10 pm

        please make sure i get the url..

  5. me said,

    January 30, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    is she reading this?

    maybe she doesnt understand how the internet works?

    wtf.

    anyone can register a blog.

  6. January 30, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    You betcha. πŸ˜‰

  7. free2bwe said,

    February 1, 2010 at 1:54 am

    WTF! What is her deal! Seems she is a whiny bitch! Our therapist knows we blog about her. Hell we even use her name. She knows this and is ok with it. We even gave her the url to it. She has no right to moan at you. Dont move your blog, dont run from her and this. You have a right to stay, a right to your space.
    Carol anne

    • February 1, 2010 at 7:15 am

      Hi, and thanks mucho for your thoughts. It is so difficult for us to feel that we have any rights or boundaries…when you belong to a perp, y’know???? You then belong to everybody else. Thanks for the gumption, will most definitely re-negotiate today at 4:00! Thanks again for stopping in and thanks. πŸ˜‰


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