Dear me I forgive you

TRIGGERS LIKELY

Oh my dear, you are really hurting, aren’t you? You want us to know that you hate the Body, that you want to hurt it to cut it to make it experience what you feel.

I know that you need something here to be responsible for all the stuff that happened. I know you’re used to the blood, just used to it inside the head. It’s a totally different thing on the outside isn’t it? I know you don’t feel a thing when the blood’s on the outside, none of us do.

I know that you need to hide. I want you to know that I totally respect that. That you carved that word, bitch right? I know you were trying to hide by putting it in Morse code. But you wanted to say it anyway.

I want you to know that I don’t think you’re angry. I want you to know that I think you are sad. Very, very sad. I also know that you don’t have the emotional capacity for that right now and that is okay. I want you to be out enough just to listen to what’s going on. Just to read what the others have to say.

Because there are others, many others just like you. Each has their own things that they are angry and sad about. I want you to know that you are not alone. You don’t have to come out far enough for anybody else to find you. But if you listen, just listen, you will see that you are not alone. Then maybe you can feel what you really are feeling and not be overwhelmed by all that rage. Because that really doesn’t feel too good, does it?

I want you to know that it’s okay, what you’ve done. I am happy that you came out to express yourself in the best way that you know how. I want for you to feel better and one day, if you can just listen, you will. We all will.

I am so glad that you let me know how much you are hurting now. I love you very very much and it’s all gonna be okay. No today not tomorrow. But one day it will be okay.

If you need to let it out I want for you to know that it’s okay. But you don’t have to unless you really need to. I want you to know that I hear you and I know how it feels. I know how you feel. I know that you are hurt and angry and desperately sad. I know that you are frightened confused and you are very afraid to be seen. And I want you to know that it is all okay. You are good just the way you are.

Thank you for cutting “bitch” on Body in Morse code. It’s okay.

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5 Comments

  1. me said,

    February 7, 2010 at 11:10 am

    i cut the word “LIAR” into my left forearm once. note to self – if ever attempting similar in future, avoid letters with curves in them.

    you’ll be ok, keep workin it.

    • February 7, 2010 at 11:21 am

      Yes, odd. Suppose having things stirred up is better than just floating. But it’s quite the thrilleide, would appreciate abit less Disneyesque for awhile ;).

      • me said,

        February 7, 2010 at 11:24 am

        i could mostly do without the rollercoaster, but when it causes progress, i think it’s worth it. disney? i think of mine as some kind of dali creation …

  2. sexualselfinjury said,

    February 8, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    So sorry you’re day wasn’t going so well. Yes, one day it will be okay.


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