Well. Seems soMebody new was afoot yesterday. Carved “bitch” on her body in Morse Code. Hum. Well. That’s new. Also had a talk from wifey you have to eat, at least drink some water. Hum, thought I was hiding this one pretty well.

The self-harm that has always been done is a psychological game. Seems however that some bully thinks that’s wrong. That it is the body that deserves the punishment. After all, it’s the thing that was there. Mind went away.

This should be very alarming. This should be setting off red flags. But it’s not. It makes total sense. Tha is what betrayed them all.

She has a very, very high tolerance for pain. Doesn’t feel it at all, really. It’s the act of the punishment that seems to be the attraction. Nothing for the body nothing that it wants. No more.

We get what is going on here. There was somebody out for abit who didn’t believe she was responsible for what happened to them. Swift, harsh retribution is what is needed now. Swift and brutal. Finally, we have it right. Smells like justice.

One day we will likely look down on this and think it’s all just too funny. It is total chaos in here. Screaming howler monkeys having a field day. Somebody really likes the blood, is digging seeing it rather than imagining it in her mind. Makes so much more sense. Highly rewarding.

Somebody is yelling. Trying to come up to tell T what’s going on. But this part will not win. There is nothing to really say. She said it herself, it is the body that just reacts to whatever horrible things that happened. That it just happens to children.

But I know better. She is very far away and all things are muffled. Body is a separate thing, owned by somebody else. And so by ripping into it by gouging messages it is a sort of reclaiming in a sense. Do it first, that will keep the bastard away.

We had always wondered why people cut themselves, seemed so redundant. But we totally get it now. There is a fascination going on. Like passing a fatal car accident we can’t seem to loom away. Other than that nothing is real.

Depersonalization some would call it. Psychotic break to others. We call it justice. Finally. The one who wants to help T to help them thinks she should be locked up in the nutward. Should call…somebody anybody. Tell them It isjust too much. But that is self-compassion calling and we cannot have that be.

Wonder what’s coming next. The rules seem to have broken as they fight to get across the message that she’s nit a monstrous little girl. Anything can happen now. Should be an interesting day.



  1. Karita said,

    February 6, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    I’m sorry that things are so tough for you, that you’re splinters are in uproar. I hope that we in the madosphere can provide support for you. And it seems like wifey is pretty sharp. šŸ˜‰


  2. February 6, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Wifey is a sharp cookie, yes. Suppose she has seen something similar before, the starvation thing anyway. It’s what they do, they rip her to shreds before good things can be born. Tiresome but this is a new wrinkle…

  3. sexualselfinjury said,

    February 7, 2010 at 11:04 am

    Sounds like a tough time for everyone. I hope things start to calm down and you can get some rest.

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