Thankfulness, Who Knew

Had a very bad day yesterday. We were sexually Assaulted by a client. After a few hours’ wandering in the desert of depersonalization we awoke, startled to find that the sun was shining and that we’re totally okay.

Thankful about so many things this morning. For our inner protectors who got us home and kept us safe when we
Couldn’t manage that ourselves. Thankful for the support of so many who brought us back with their concern and their humor. Thankful for T, who did ‘t overreact and who allowed us to get out of it okay. Thankful for the incredible empowerment we feel from that.

We’re thankful that we are able to dislodge this little wrinkle from our past and see it in the context of our present-day adult life. We’re thankful for the one inside us who is soothing the freaked-out parts right now and for keeping that off-line.

Thankful for this opportunity to see just how far we have come, to be able to be angry about it yes but within reasonable limits. This will not throw us back into the dark ages. It will not shut us down. It will not send us out of our mind because we’ve discovered thru it just how strong we truly are.

Thankful. Just so thankful foe this opportunity to learn to grow and to realize that we are pretty touch shit. Huh. It’s Grand.

Later note: we have blogged about this woman before. Can see the transition in her mind now like glass. We have failed her, actually, by not really giving her the opportunity for self-growth thru her erotic transference for us. Not a job well done, Splint. She’s still culpable of course. But we could have done much more for the poor thing. Or are we just in a place where we still excuse violations to our bodily integrity because it doesn’t really belong to us anyway??? Sheesh.

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2 Comments

  1. Karita said,

    February 13, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Splint, you are an amazing, strong person. I am outraged for you and think the woman should be hung, drawn and quartered… You have most definitely not failed her. She has failed as a human being.

    But most of all I’m glad you’re alright and the benzos are helping. Your protective parts did their job well. And once again (hope I’m not boring you with my repetitiveness) your strength is wonderful to see.

    *Hugs and hugs and hugs*

    • February 13, 2010 at 11:18 am

      Thanks. As we rip thru the inevitable Valentine’s chocolates that are lying about we’re thinking that Karita, she is even sweeter than this pink-nougated chocolate thing. It’s okay.


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