Timebomb Speaks

I am the Timebomb. I have been sitting in the background since her first sexual assault at age 2. That was in 1962. I have been just waiting until it’s time for me to go off.

And while I may be wrong, I think that now is the time.

She has lived a hellish hellish life. She didn’t have a childhood she didn’t have rebellious teen years or dances or accomplices. She has been in terrible pain her whole life long.

But she has fought like a hundred demons for her life as I have just sat passively by, just…waiting. I’ve been out once before when I took 102 pills three days before her mother died. Unfortunately her partner came home from
An unexpectedly cancelled trip. It was touch and go for abit there. Unfortunately she survived. Back I went into storage.

This thing with this rapist client two weeks ago today, it’s beyond their comprehension. They fight so hard every single day to shed the shit that trusted people did to her.

This last rape two weeks ago today is just too much. It says so clearly that it is pointless to keep up the fight. For the world will just keep fucking her until I finally explode. I sound like a metronome. Tick tick tick. Raped raped raped. Again again again. Why why why.

She came so close. She was really getting help for the first time in her life. She was just getting glimpses of joy and laughter and hope.

She has held on thru it all until her knuckles went white and her fingers bled. Little bits of repreive. Coming to understand that she deserved better and that she had the authority to go forward and get it.

But all the caring and compassion and self-love in the world just can’t save you when the world is intent on fucking you hard.

I am on top now, waiting. Tick tick tick. Rape rape rape. Again again again. Why why why. I could be wrong but it seems to me that finally it’s my turn.

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4 Comments

  1. Tiger said,

    February 26, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    I hope immensely that the one who calls T will come out and call. I don’t think it’s time for you to go off. I think that her wifey would have a big problem with you going off.

  2. Karita said,

    February 26, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    I hope that you will allow the voice of reason (I think that’s what she’s called?) to call the therapist. Splint is loved and she does not deserve you to go off. Ever.

  3. me said,

    February 28, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    what does your wife say about the ^%$£ing rapist?

    • February 28, 2010 at 5:04 pm

      If she could get to her she’d kill her. Havenot said which client this is, as I never will.


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