Sex and Feminism

I am really ticked off that I was called an “anti-feminist” by some woman because I talk about sex. It’s not a political issue she says she says I am a pornographer in sheep’s clothing and that is big mojo evil.

I cannot disagree with this bitch more strongly. For women who have lived thru sadistic, repeated childhood sexual abuse assault and rape there IS nothing more political than sex.

Readers know my story. When I was around I’d say ten maybe I was bit very hard on the clit. The intention in this act was to cause permanent physical damage and pain for the rest of my life. It was meant to humiliate me. It was meant to be a kind of a claiming thing, a guarantee that I would never again have a clitoral orgasm. It was intentional and it was very, very painful. It was a violation of my bodily integrity at the highest level imaginable.

I lived with this physical pain for forty-odd years. When it came to sex I was very accomplished at hiding and totally blocking it out. I assumed that this was a permanent thing.

When I was seeing my doctor for an unrelated thing this past fall I got from I don’t know where te courage to tell her about these pAinful orgasms. She is familiar with my abuse history but this was new news. Much to my surprise she
said oh yuck no you don’t have to put up with that let’s do acupuncture and see if that works. If if doesn’t we’ll move on to plan b or plan c or whatever to fix it.

The acupuncture worked. I am almost thru with it now and the pain has completely vanished. What this feels like to me is, well ahem pretty fucking amazing physically as you I hope already know.

But the physical aspect of the orgasm thing itself is nothing when contrasted against the fact that I do not think about my perpetrator every time that I ahem Get Off. Forty years of sex and everytime I would feel that screeching pain I would think of that fucking rat bastard and whAt he did to me. How could I not?

What I received when I got my clit fixed was my body. I got my body back. It no longer belongs to that motherfucker. I don’t have to dissociate to numb the excruciating pain. Which of course makes it all the better yet moreso.

So yes. Sex is for me a taking back. It is a claiming thing an ownership. It is a great big WIN for me. It is tremendous personal power.

I am also as you know a Lesbian with a very political bent. I think that straight people are in general abit more hung-up about talking about sex than gays are, simply because the most obvious thing that differentiates us from the rest of the world is the nature of the kinds of sex that we are drawn to. I may be wrong abou this, just saying it is my general impression.

Every time I share a smutty innuendo or tell a sex joke I am reclaiming my right to my body all over again. I am also getting alot of now as if to make up for lost time. And besides, it’s a pretty nifty new toy to get hahahahah.

There is nothing more feminist than owning one’s body. Reproductive rights, sexual rights. Civil rights. That is what it’s all about. I live radical feminism. I am not a pornographer because I talk about it. If this chick wants to know what pornography is I would be happy to explain just what exactly that is. Bitch.

So. If you are uncomfortable with it my advice is to not read me. Block me do whatever floats your boat. I get to have my body and I get to tell the world all about it.

Uptight bitch.

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3 Comments

  1. March 4, 2010 at 11:05 am

    I couldn’t agree with you more, Splint. To my mind, the ability of a woman to enjoy sex with impunity is surely at the core of feminism. OK, OK, it’s maybe not quite “up there” with the right not to be beaten and raped by men as was previously allowed in heterosexual marriage, or the right to equality in the workplace and whatnot – but still, it’s an empowering and fundamentally important of being a modern woman as far as I’m concerned.

    I was about to type “screw her”, but then realised the unfortunate pun that would create 😉 Seriously – she’s the one that’s anti-feminist if these are her honestly held views.

    Hugs hun xxx

  2. Ravin said,

    March 4, 2010 at 11:21 am

    Hear hear!
    It burns my butt when folks try to make feminist about some puritan idea of what it’s all about.

    We survivors deserve to own our bodies and our minds.

    Ravin

  3. March 4, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    Yup. I remember the days when it was considerably objectionable for women to even understand their own physiologies. When we were just sperm vessels. Before domestic abuse. Choice. That is what it’s about. Choice in terms of bodily integrity. Think I will find some good stuff from Mary daly Alix dobkin and Gloria Steinem. At the end of the days it’s pretty funny really. Funny and sad. Back to grassroots. Naste


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