Not Just My Illness

I was reading a recent blogpost from Pandora the other day and it has stuck with me. With her permission I am going to talk about other things about me than my mental illness. In other words totally stealing her very inspirational message.

Pandora tells that she is alot of things, not jus her mental struggles. And she is totally right. I started thinking wouldn’t it be great if everybody I follow were to do this affirming message. So. Here’s me.

I am a woman, a lesbian, just turned 50 which is freaking me out abit. I have been monogamously involved with a marvel of a woman for 17 years. We’d been going out for 2 years when I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She said yes thank god. It was a very crowded restaurant, on Valentine’s Day. Some people hissed and booed but because we live in Chicago’s gay ghetto most applauded. This was in 1995, when gays just didn’t marry yet. We had around 80 guests. Rented a small bowling alley with an open bar and got thoroughly trashed. The local gay radio station interviewed us by phone in the airport the next morning as we went to Provincetown for 2 weeks for the honeymoon.

Our relationship has been severely tested by my mental illness but we survive by celebrating life whenever we can.

I have 3 cats. I am a dog psychologist which also means a people psychologist. Ivy League schooling.

I am the first member of a very large extended family who was notarried in Maine. My parents are from the same hyper-rural town in northern Maine. They’re cousins which is not odd in remote areas.

I have a 142 IQ. very very intelligent, which I try hard to hide. I qualified to enter Dartmouth when I was thirteen but parents did not allow it.

My wife is the breadwinner as I am able to work part-time. Having my own business fits well.

I have one sister to whom I have no connection whatsoever. She’s 4 years older than I and our paths just never met. She is extremely talented on the violin.

My mother was a nutjob. Very abusive. They used to leave me alone for weeks at a time, no way to get ahold of them, when I was 10 years old.

I live in a very large urban city that I love for about ten days in the spring and ten days in the fall. Otherwise the weather’s just atrocious.

I am a radical feminist politically speaking. When I was a teenager I began to march and yell and was heavily into the fight for domestic abuse. And gay rights, of course.

I came out to my aunt when I was 5, and to the resp of the world when I was I think about 12years old. Nobody was surprised. Being a lesbian and something of intolerance for discrimination of any kind is the most of my self-concept.

I am an Impressionist painter and have sold a few of my paintings/mosaic works. I have a multiple-colored rendition of my favorite Van Gogh painting on my back.

My family, both sides, were sent across the ocean from Wales and northern Ireland. This was in the late 1600’s. So yes I’ve been American for well over 300 years. It’s unusual. I believe one of them stole sheep and the other was a murderer.

I spent much of my youth on my step-grandad’s farm. Working. Milking cows turning out horses. Slipping pigs and gathering eggs from alot of mean chickens.

I am not a sports fan. I was that kid who was always picked. Excepting bombardment where I was just too littleand fast.

I was valedictorian of my high-school class of 825.

I pay absolutely no attention to the way I look. Avoid mirrors all the time.

I love to skydive and snorkel in the sea. Have a house on the midcoast of Maine. It’s just a stunningly gorgeous place. Very haunted. If you don’t believe in ghosts you are wrong.

In terms of domestic politics I am a Democrat liberal. As one pretty much has to be if they are a member of any minority in this country. Conservatives here are just horrible people.

I don’t watch scary movies or those cartoony things from Disney or whatever. I mostly am interested in films of the thirties and forties. Katharine Hepburn and Bette Davis still rock my world.

I drive a beatup Honda civic that is even years old. It won’t doe so I plan on keeping it until it falls apart.

I am a total femme in the sack, but I love it when I can be the do-er. That is fun!

I care little for material positions. I grew up in a very, very affluent home environment that my mother stocked full of stuff. I just really don’t care about so much. However if you try to take my iPhone away from me I will fight you to the death for it.

I am a Tibetan Buddhist. Mostly absent Dad took us to all kinds of worship, from snake handlers to Scientology to Hari Krishna.

I remember almost nothing about my life. I piece together relevant splinters and fill in the gaps with details of highest probability.

If there was one thing I would change about my life it would be to have never been born.

My grandfather killed my mom’s brother and his family then came to live with us for awhile. Weirdness.

My favorite uncle worked for the CIA, illegally blowing up locations in Laos and Cambodia. When the Pentagon Papers came out he had his identity scrubbed by our government and went to work on the Alaska pipeline for several years. I still have the three foot elephant that was given to him by the man who was President of Vietnam for a few days when Saigon fell.

I went to the prom with my girlfriend in 1978. Some cheered and some booed. I’ve been arrested for holding my girlfriend’s hand in public.

I am totally committed to my healing process. I am not afraid of it.

I was #1in State in Debate as first negative, the captain of the team. I have rowed in the Head of the Charles and thrown up over the side of the boat when the race was over.

I have not had a drink or done any non-prescription drugs for just over 7 years.

I ran triathlon at the GY Olympics in Amsterdam in 1998 and did not come in last. 15,000 people participated, just an amazing time. I have been to all 48 contiguous states.

I was high and drunk and tripping on LSD for pretty much my entire undergrad studies. My fuck buddy Susan B was a very bad influence on me hah.

Which I guess pretty much sums me up. Oh yeah, I am an Aquarian and am in menopause, which is great.

The End



  1. Karita said,

    March 7, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    You’re fascinating. πŸ™‚

    Why do you try to hide your intelligence?

  2. March 7, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Fascinating? Wow maybe I need to go back an edit then if I gave that impression…. πŸ˜‰

    • March 7, 2010 at 5:09 pm

      As to the smarts thing? I’m different enough as it is. Just always have. Don’t get me started on quantum mechanics vs. String theory though πŸ˜‰

  3. me said,

    March 7, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    possibly my favourite post so far

  4. Srose said,

    March 7, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    You are anything but dull for sure! I admire you spirit and persistence in getting what you want/need and not being afraid of what others think. Seriously, going to the prom with your girlfriend in 1978?? Way to go! Anyone can tell your a smarty pants by your wit, your IQ just confirms it.

    Is your degree in psychology then? Love your job description. There needs to be more people doing what you do for a living.

    Nice to hear about this side of your personality and life. I’m glad that you posted this.

    • March 7, 2010 at 9:41 pm

      I don’t know why we are becoming less and less afraid…feels like a good thing ghooigh. So sweet of you, thanks.

      Think we just need to yell. ;).

  5. Ravin said,

    March 7, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    This was great fun to read!

    I’ll thinking about doing one, mayyyyybeee.


  6. March 8, 2010 at 5:36 am

    Wonderful to hear all about you Splint. I was sorry to read that you wish you hadn’t been born, but I do empathise with the sentiment. Rest assured, all of us in the madosphere and on Twitter are very glad that you were, and it’s brilliant to learn more about you πŸ™‚

    *hugs* x

    • March 8, 2010 at 7:17 am

      Thanks for letting me totally steal your idea, hon. You’re the briliant one! Hope this gets others to also speak of themselves.

      As to the not being born thing, well it is just sorts the truth. But we’ll stick with the process and see where we go with it. Thanks for your comments, hugs back atcha xxx

  7. March 8, 2010 at 8:49 am

    Fabulous post! πŸ™‚

  8. niki said,

    May 21, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    I found your blog this evening and have been jumping around it.
    You are ALL very interesting. Amusing and sad at the same time.
    I will be reading here.
    Take care-

    • May 21, 2010 at 6:54 pm

      How much coolness is this? Chilly. Thanks. Lemme know whee to find you ! πŸ˜‰

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