Afraid of Therapy

Nothing new here. We are frightened to death to go to therapy today. If seems we strongly believed we are about to get dumped or otherwise really screwed.

It has been mentioned that the danger we feel comes from
The feeling of hope. That finally somebody listened to us, cares to connect and that’s what is terrorizing us.

We have thought ourself into jail since Monday afternoon. We knownthwt this has nothing to do with T. nd everything. It’s not that we fear she personally will fuck us til we can’t stand the pain and we die from internal bleeding. It is just that it is an eventuality. And we don’t know how many more of these we can survive.

We do not understand a world in which this is no the case.

The reasons why we are going to have our heart put thru yet another sausage grinder are obvious. It’s what we deserve. We suck. There is jus something…human that got raped out of us so we’re not to be treated as such. Therapists don’t really care it is a business after all. People lie to us. E erybkdy lies. It was a mistake that we were born here. We are paying penance for a brutal prior life. We’re contagious. Nobody wants to know our story. There IS no getting better.

On and on and on. So you can see how frightened we are of going to therapy today. It is of course what we will talk about but honestly what can T say?

Nothing. There’s nothing to say. Da ger wil Robinson.

Advertisements

4 Comments

  1. March 11, 2010 at 11:14 am

    I want to say that I hope she can reassure you, but I know it’s not that simple. I hope though that her abandoning you is only something that will happen when you are both satisfied that you have made enough progress to “go it alone”.

    Being rejected is not what you deserve in my view, and I certainly don’t think you suck.

    Bug hugs x

  2. me said,

    March 11, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    just … hugs.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: