Our Safe Room

Our whole life people have Ben telling us to build a”safe space” in our head where we can go and nobody can get us. Because we know there is no such thing as safety it has always seemed a rather ridiculous suggestion.

But in the past week we’ve been building such a location in our head. We try tonpractice going there five times a
Day for five minutes. Notice how freaked we are going in and bow freaked after we have spent our time there. It’s very hard to focus but each day bad been getting easier.

Until we fell into the Black Pit this week after therapy on Monday. Now we can’t really get there from heah.

So we’ve decided to try decorating our safe room. It’s difficult as our peeps showed up wherever we were, at school at home obviously when we were dumped off with them so parents could travel to wherever. On vacations, uncle Norman was everywhere.

But we are working hard on the idea. Here’s what is in there so far.

There are three wonderful people in there. They’re just hanging out not doing much. They make us calm and they are safe. One is on a very sharp lime cored leather couch. Very snappy. Another is sitting/laying on this old leather recliner thT my step-grandfather had for years and years. Very comfy. Haven’t gotten the perfect lounge furniture for the third yet but busy shopping.

Our books are in this room. We have a collection of thr world’s 100 greatest books leatherbound. And hundreds of other various books. Nice.

This room is actually our painting studio. Logs of pungent smells which is great. Turpentine, Nepalese incense. Linseed and other base oils and of course the distinct smell of oil paint. Only the Painter has painted but she is willing to let others give it a whirl.

Our wildcat from childhood is in there. Rusty. Hated everything in the world but us. We still miss that cat.

The color scheme is green and white. Light green, white mouldings. There’s our easel and many blank canvases. Brushes too of course. We can imagine what it would be lime go actually paint something and it’s really great. The Painter is just giving up her realm foe this–in our head at least.

There’s a fireplace that is actually the huge stone one from our second home on the Maine coast. Spent many lovely hours just watching and listening to the pops and crackles.

There is great natural light in our safe room. Very important for painters.

So. That is it so far. Any suggestions would be appreciated!



  1. Karita said,

    March 11, 2010 at 10:28 am

    Splint it sounds beautiful and restful. I hope you can find some peace there.

  2. Ravin said,

    March 11, 2010 at 11:08 am

    Sounds good, really good.
    Totally get the ‘safe place’? What safe place?
    First time we did this for our system it lasted 2 decades.
    Just recently we had to build a new one.
    As of today we have a Sukkah ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukkah ) built out of peach trees. It’s a living breathing place. Smells heavenly, if you like peaches. ; )

    Having something living has been a big plus, it gives a sense of growth, that change is welcome, unlike the past which is stone/unchangable.

    Going to your safe place and practicing everyday is bonus. It’s hard sometimes to pull our head around the fact that we can learn new coping skills, the old are so engrained. New skills sets are where it’s at tho, cuz the old ones hold us back chained to that stone.

    Go you!!!


  3. Splinteredones said,

    March 11, 2010 at 11:53 am

    You’re right. Like your reply yesterday, scary new stuff. You’re why we are going. Thanks.

  4. me said,

    March 11, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    music. a dog. a blanket.

    • March 11, 2010 at 2:16 pm

      Hah ok

    • March 11, 2010 at 5:46 pm

      The dog thing, not so much. Remember I work with bad dogs all the time. But I will add more cats. Music thus far: Depeche Mode, Eagles, John Prine , Led Zeppelin, Jack Johnson, Sheryl Crow, Lucinda Williams, Peter Tosh, Beethoven, frank Sinatra. More on the way. And yes. Nice warm blankets.

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