These triggers are my own fault

I should have known better. I love reading blogposts about people who are tackling and thriving from child sexual abuse. It’s like a how-to manual for me. Reminding me that there is another far better space for me to be. It’s hope.

But. I should know better by now to read posts about people who discuss how their developmental years negatively impacted their ability to take good care of their own children.

Don’t get me wrong. It must fake tremendous courage to deal with these kinds of issues. Must eat up the heart. So I say god bless you and thank you for your power.

But. Our illness reads these posts and the Voices start yelling. The littles panic, the sulky teenagers just get pissed off. And the adults agree with all of it.

We hear that we’re supposed to forgive mom and dad for their atrocious parenting.

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8 Comments

  1. ulla said,

    April 25, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    I’m struggling with similar issues re parents right now, seems to be causing dissociation alternating with rage thEn despair. Ur not alone

    • April 25, 2010 at 3:05 pm

      Thanks. Yes it is good to not feel so isolated. Family of Origin, so insidious….

  2. Susan said,

    April 25, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    I had signed up to receive your updates…so found my way here today.:)

    I can’t help but wonder about your post as it reads a bit like what I posted today about my own journey. If it isn’t well then I’m glad – if it is…I’m sorry that you were affected in that way.

    Either way – I understand where you are at and I”m so sorry you are struggling with this today.

    Susan

    • April 25, 2010 at 4:37 pm

      No worries dear. Not you. ;). Thanks for signing up for my updates. Just got under my skin abit. It’s fine. Thanks 😉

  3. Susan said,

    April 25, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Thanks for letting me know…hoping you are feeling better:)

    • April 25, 2010 at 5:11 pm

      I have faith in the Process, especially when it’s not fun ;). Tells me I’m making progress.

  4. April 28, 2010 at 12:32 am

    Understanding someone else’s story and forgiving your parents are two different issues. You do not HAVE to forgive anything. You have to take care of you. When a parent fails their child, that parent has to work that out and that is THEM – it is NOT your parents – not you. I understand how this happened to trigger you, though. But you don’t have to forgive anything. You are you and other people are other people. Be true to YOU.

    • April 28, 2010 at 7:07 am

      Thanks. I should know what to stay away from by now. I know that I do not have to forgive anybody. And I doubt that will. Hange. But y never know. Appreciate your participation 😉


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