Tremendous Gratitude

As I sit and reflect back on the past seven months of emotional rollercoaster, I find that my mind is largely filled with an upswelling of gratitude toward myself, my obviously heavily issue laden therapist who dumped all over me.

But mostly I feel this gratitude toward the many many people who have supported me during this trying time.

When I began my therapy with this woman who sounds so great on paper but who is a nightmare clinician, I don’t know that I knew any of you darling people. They say it takes a village to raise a child. It certainly has taken all of you to keep my shit together after most visits to therapy.

I have been wildly out of control. It has been way too much emotional lability. I have been an unpleasant brat over much of this time. That is not me. It’s only us because things would be opened up and left to dangle. Not so much.

So I sit here today, as I hear yet another hairball about to be born, and I recognize in full just how much of an impact so many of you have had on me.

Ssanquist. You have saved my life. You have rescued me from myself. You are a very bright and gifted amiga. You’re not in my safe house for no reason. You have made me laugh at very times that’s what I have needed most Thank you.

SarahEOlsen2009. You have saved me from myself as well. Your wit your charm and your compassion overwhelm me. I have ridden on your words of common when mine has flown the coop more often than you can know. Safe. Thank you.

Darlene Ouimet. Your words of wisdom have scarily shot right to my heart so many many times. You have made sense of what has been so much of my life’s adaptive nightmare. And done so with such caring that it takes my breath away. Safe as well. Thank you.

Tigerbean. Niece. Your banter has at times been the tiny thread that connects me to the planet. You have grown as well. You have much courage in your words. You are just great.

Narkyness. You make me laugh and smile and you bring out the caretaker in me. You are fearless. God bless you.

MoreVoices. Bud. We have shared so much I can’t even go into it here you are strength humor and bad sex jokes. Our shared menopause makes me giggle. And yet in spite of all you pain you face what comes with power and have shown me how to do that, too. You are gentle and you are fierce. Love to you kid.

Aliquant. My god you make me laugh. And yet you have the ability to distill decades of pain into ten words or less. Your caring and sharing has been a daily bright spot for me. Love ya

Woundedgenius. I know we don’t follow one another anymore and that is what is. This doesn’t change that you’re still a great gal. I hope that one day we’ll reunite.

FindingMelissa. You have such a gift of power in your writing. I haves watched you grow just a ton and it has been a delight. Don’t believe your head when it chides you. You’re an awesome woman.

VoiceInRecovery. You give me great strength gal. You give me motivation in my darkest hours. You have overcome so much and your truths are so important and so real. Thanks.

MarjieKnudsen. Information and a passion for your work, with a glint in your eye for fun, are very very useful to me. Thanks.

Fromthesamesky. Who loves ya, babe. You are so brave and you tell your truths so eloquently it shoots right to my heart. You are much dearer to me than you think 😉

Karenkmmonroy. You remind me of the big picture. You have inspired me to rediscover my faith which brings such solace. Your light has shown thru some very dark moments. Namaste.

SpiritAli. _/\_. For shedding light onto my path again. Namaste.

Magicplum. Your humor and your caring have reached me at moments when nothing else has done so. Love ya.

Pandora. Your power is incredible. Your writing is a gift to us all. Our souls understand one another on some very fundamental levels. I give thanks for you in my life.

SYMontgomery. My dear one. I don’t know how I got to get you but baby am I glad for it. You know.

drcmblake Thank you for endless encouragement hon. Even when I am being a great big dick your patience with me is so formidable. Thank you.

HopeFortrauma you are so patient supportive and kind. Being there has gotten me thru some very big challenges. Thank you.

shiv379. What can I say? You’re just the sweetest and funniest thing. You make me smile every time.

LisaKifttherapy. Your way of distilling seemingly insurmountable problems into digestible information is a rare gift. Thank you for your candor and wit. And totally positive outlook. Your patients are important to you and that has gotten me thru some tough moments.

KellyBean76. What an adventure you have before you gal! Thank you for your patience and your humor. When I have needed them most.

Hypertopia8. You can say I told you so anytime. Your patience is amazing. Not sure why you didn’t say fuck off I don’t know but am so glad you didn’t 😉

Life_with_DID. How could I space on you my dear? Your incredible work is astounding. So many times I have been to your blog to gain understanding of what the Hell was going on with me. And a beautiful person as well.

Well. Here I am, so aware that I am missing so many of you. You know that you belong on this list. Thank you all for being there for me at what I look back as the most unstable time in my life. You’re great.

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24 Comments

  1. May 11, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    Good list!
    We’re cool dude.
    WG.x

  2. May 11, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    That was so beautiful and kind. Though I only know you via the Twitterverse – it is clear as day how special of a person you are. It is my pleasure to be connected to you in this way. Keep on “keepin’ on” my friend.

    xo Lisa

    • May 11, 2010 at 2:31 pm

      You too. I love it when you tweet about how much you love your job. Gives me faith 😉

  3. Sharon S said,

    May 11, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    Wow, you are very kind. How much do I owe you? 🙂 Seriously, that was beautifully written from the heart and it is clear that many people admire you in so many different ways and vice versa..I certainly do. Keep going forward on your path and keeping with the flow… xo Sharon

    • May 11, 2010 at 3:54 pm

      Aww, so sweet. It’s all so true. When I switched therapists 7 months ago I was totallly alone. Now? What a difference. Needs to be expressed.

  4. May 11, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    Wow. Add me to the ‘I just cried reading this’ list. Thankyou so much splinty. xx

  5. May 11, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    My friend,
    what a huge gift you have just given me. Thank you.
    What a beatuiful thing you have done here with these aknowledgements. You are a gift to me as well; your willingness to fight to recover your wholeness is like an affirmation to me.
    You are a beatuiful woman and you have more then just my admiration.
    Hugs and Love, Darlene

  6. Melissa said,

    May 11, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    You have taught me compassion and helped me find mine. It’s amazing how powerful and inexplicable connections are.

    I am honoured. xx

    • May 11, 2010 at 3:59 pm

      Yes, so powerful. We are on many similar paths. So great to not be walkking alone.

  7. ulla said,

    May 11, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    Lol! No reason to say fuck off at all

  8. Ravin said,

    May 11, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Gal you’re going to make it thru this
    you have what it takes you’re strong and capable.
    Thank you for these kind words they mean a lot.
    Glad to be there for you.
    MV–Ravin

  9. Tiger said,

    May 11, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    Aunty.
    ’nuff said. ❤

  10. Aliquant said,

    May 11, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Ello 😉
    I couldn’t reply to this before coz you made me cry with all your awesomeness. But I just wanted to say that no matter how much you think I give to you, you return it all tenfold. My life quite simply wouldn’t be the same without you in it, it is a pleasure and a privilege to be able to count you among my friends.
    Also although I don’t know everyone else on your list-of-awesome, I know many of them and I have to say I agree with you wholeheartedly on those lovely fabulous wonderful people. They’re all special in their own way, I think between us we enrich each other’s lives and I feel very lucky to be part of this circle of friendship.
    Love (and cleavage!)
    Ali xx

    • May 12, 2010 at 7:03 am

      You’re just so awesome. There it is, see what I mean? Awesome. Who lobes ya babe? x

  11. KellyBean76 said,

    May 11, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    Splinty 🙂 I’m so glad to have met you on twitter and am grateful to have you as a secret bearer, someone I can always count on to help me keep my eye on the prize. I often wish there was more that I could say or do to let you know how much your words have meant to me, and how much they are taken to heart. Your words, and your silly cat videos. Much love to you :0)

    • May 12, 2010 at 7:05 am

      Exactly what you do for me, dear…I think the Universe is really taking care of both of us 😉

  12. Sarah Olson said,

    May 12, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    I just stumbled upon this entry after a long, rather frustrating day. And I’m thinking (in a good way), “OMG! She thinks I’m charming and witty!” 🙂

    Quite a list you’ve got here. This is another entry you might earmark for those times when you’re feeling lost and alone. (If you forget, I can remind you!)

    This wealth of brain-trust and love is so open and available to you because you are part of that whole. Never underestimate your positive impact on others.

    And thank you for making my day. Again.

    Sarah

    • May 12, 2010 at 4:34 pm

      Yesssss! Score! Improved your day! Thanks honey for the kind words. You’re such a dear. Have a better night 😉


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