I Choose Good

So. Yesterday I was innocently playing wii Golf when a sudden slam bang fear gripped me. From out of nowhere. I was gripped in this depression and falling fast. Somebody self-punishing woke up and was thrashing about. Hum, not so much.

I quit the game and tried to find the source of my trigger. No forthcoming. Huh. So I chose to take the path that I knew would get me out of it eventually.

I lit some incense. Went to the open window. Notice five things wha do you SEE? hole in the ground that will soonbe the pool. See cats freaking out watching the birds. Seeing the birds myself. Oh look that cardinal pair has nested in our trees again this year. Smell spring, that flowery just cut grass incensy thing. Listen. Annoying dog birds. Finches and woodpecker. Feel the temperature warm from the sun.

Sat down. Meditated. In out. Breath. Breath. Notice what is in your head and just let each thought pass by without getting attached. Ah, there’s the feeling of being a hopeless case. These’s the feeling of utter aloneness. There’s the massive rejection.

Ah, look! There’s not faking personally somebody else’s issues. There’s trusting when my intuition was saying hum
Maybe not so much red flags are all around you.

Ah look. There’s gratitude. There’s the knowledge that when I ammready my teacher will come. There’s the realization that I am safe right here right now. Safe sFe safe. Breathe breathe breathe.

It took maybe an hour for me to get out of this sudden plunge. But I did so because I chose to not let it suck me down.

I choose Good. Lo and behold it works! Cool.

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2 Comments

  1. Ravin said,

    May 16, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Go You! Makes us feel proud & glad to know you cuz you ARE worth while!!!

    Ravin


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