A Bad Joke

This is my favorite joke of all time. My father has told it a million six times. For some reason I remember him telling it from when I was a kid. I’m guessing that’s what memory is anyway. Not like a newsreel but more like I can see his face as he tries to not bust out laughing. Anyway, here’s the joke.

There are these twin brothers, Sam and Fred Fram. They grow up as identical as two peas in a pod. Nobody could tell them apart by sight. They dressed the same, even sounded the same.

The only difference between the Fram brothers was in their behavior. Fred was a tireless worker for charity, gave all his money to good works and was always, always right in speech. Fred never told a lie.

Sam however, was the Devil in disguise. He gambled he drank he took up with ladies of the night. There was no drug left undone by Mr. Sam Fram. He never, never told the truth.

The brothers were born at the same time and likewise died together. Fred took the express elevator straight up to heaven, where there was a huge brass band playing beautiful music for his arrival. He settled in just fine.

Brother Sam, as you can imagine, went just as quickly to Hell. And there he was for all eternity.

After an eon or two, God came across Fred, who seemed to be in a bit of a funk. God was disturbed, as he wanted his Best Angel happy forever. He inquired as to what was bothering his favorite cherub.

“Well God” says he. “I love it up here in Heaven, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I worry about my twin brother Sam, steaming down there in Hell, and I’d like to know how he is doing”.

So God says “well I want you to be happy. But I fear somebody will knock you on the head and will steal your angel’s wings and harp and cool little angelic shoes. If that happens they might sneak in here as you and there you’ll be, stuck into all eternity”.

So God and Fred made an agreement. Fred would be allowed to go down to visit his brother in Hell for 24 hours. And when he came back up to Heaven he would have to bring with him all of his angelic accoutrements.

So Fred shoots down to Hell. He spends alot of time wandering around, trying to not get burned. But he has no idea of where Fred might be. Hell is, after all, a very big place.

Time is ticking away and finally Fred gets up the nerve to ask a ghoul if he might provide a clue as to his brother’s location.

“Sure” says the ghoul. “Everybody knows Sam. He’s got the best humpy-thumpy bar in all of Hell. Two blocks down and take a left”.

And within minutes the brothers were in midst of a joyous reunion. Turns put that Sam just loved Hell. Prostitutes were everywhere, coke piles were up into forever, and he was a very successful businessman.

The brothers talked and talked and talked. When it came time for Fred to return the two men shared a great big hug and ZIP up went Fred to heaven.

God is sitting at the Gates of Heaven, waiting to hear about Fred’s state of mind.

“Well God I feel much, much better. My brother is happy as a clam and now I can be truly happy too.”

God says “well I’m happy to hear that, Fred. But remember our deal. Prove to me that you’re you and not some demon in disguise. So..got ur wings? Yep check. Nifty angel sandals, right.musical instrument?????? Where is it?”

“Oh no!” Says Fred. “I left my harp in Sam Fram’s disco!”.

LMFAO. The end.

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7 Comments

  1. Sheri said,

    September 17, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    *groan* I love jokes like that!

  2. I'm DID & so am I said,

    September 17, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    Great joke!

  3. Splinteredones said,

    September 17, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    Thanks gals. I have a 15-minute one I won’t dare tell ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. September 17, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    LOL, as soon as you said they were Sam and Fred Fram, my mind started formulating the punchline. But it was better than what my mind tried to make up! lol

    • Splinteredones said,

      September 18, 2010 at 7:35 am

      Yah it’s just a terrible joke. I was raised to believe shaggy dog stories are funny.

  5. Ravin said,

    September 18, 2010 at 5:48 am

    ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Splinteredones said,

      September 18, 2010 at 7:34 am

      ;). Heh heh


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