What Kids Think

What does a two-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHH

What does a three-year old think when somebody rapes them?AHHHHHHHHHHH

What does a four-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What does a five-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHH

What does a six-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHH

What does a seven-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHH

What does an eight-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What does a nine-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What does a ten-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What does an eleven-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What does a twelve-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What does a thirteen-year old think when somebody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHH

What does a fourteen-year old think when nobody rapes them? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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22 Comments

  1. Susan said,

    October 16, 2010 at 11:01 am

    I hear ya Splint. The pedophiles started leaving me alone when I was about 13-14 too. I thought I’d done something wrong. This is a common reaction after having been taught that this is where our value lay. I’ve heard others say similar….when it stopped – wondering what happened?

    This is one of those valid issues that no one talks about – thanks for bringing it up. 🙂

    • October 16, 2010 at 11:22 am

      Of course…you know I can’t shut up about stuff nobody talks about. Thanks. It’s pretty common I think. That abandonment thing, it’s brutal. But great when it’s gone thru.

    • October 16, 2010 at 11:27 am

      Actually this was a pretty big piece for me gto work thru, continue to work through. Being so out of control is just so terrifying, we’ll go anyplace else, ya know? Especially to self-harm physical mental or emotional. But as it settles in, layer by layer, there’s a tremendous peace that has been developing in my soul. One monster down, a zillion to go :). Thanks again love.

  2. October 16, 2010 at 11:25 am

    That was just my age when it stopped. I could have gone to my age now, 50. But wanted to keep it short 😉 I have been really working on this, one bit at a time. Realizing that it doesn’t make me a disgusting ogreish thing, just a normal person’s reaction, has made a world of difference. At first I went thru all the grieving steps, but I’m getting to be okay with it. One baby step at a time. Good point, thanks!

  3. October 16, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Very strong post. Says so much, but the emotional reaction feeling is spot on.

    Ravin

  4. Susan said,

    October 16, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Geez. your comment about “it doesn’t make me a disgusting orgreish thing” – I so hear that. The grieving part of the process helped tremendously – but when I was able to put responsibility square on dear ole dad and the rest of my family for convincing me that I WAS a disgusting whore and turning their backs on me (no details:)) …that made all the difference and I was able to start having some compassion on myself and other people when I could let some of that self hatred go.

    • Splinteredones said,

      October 16, 2010 at 3:06 pm

      Qhen we can let the responsibility/teaching go–makes all the difference in the world. It was the first of many corners I turned. Thanks

  5. I'm DID & so am I said,

    October 18, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    I so agree, a normal person’s reaction. It’s their shame, not ours.

    jo

    • Splinteredones said,

      October 18, 2010 at 12:07 pm

      Yep. Still, tough to get thru at times. That sense of being appalled at myself. Sheesh. Thanks

  6. Pandora said,

    October 18, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    *hugs*

    I hear you. I’m so sorry.

    Sending love and hugs xxx

    • Splinteredones said,

      October 18, 2010 at 2:13 pm

      It’s ok hon, nothing I don’t usually know. Most of us are over it but there always seems to be one more kid who has to freak over it ;). One at a time. ;). Thanks

  7. Tracie said,

    October 21, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    So very true.

    These are the thoughts that I imagine someone who has not lived though abuse can not understand…but I understand them all too well. I have had them myself.

    Thank you for sharing this with the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse.

    • Splinteredones said,

      October 22, 2010 at 7:20 am

      Thank you my dear.

  8. Blue Morpho said,

    October 22, 2010 at 11:59 am

    This is so difficult to read, and so true. Abuse is pain, confusion, fear – that turns into self-hate and self-harm. It’s amazing really, when we start to realize that healing is actually more powerful than any of these things. I’m still learning it. Best wishes.
    Adventures in Anxiety Land

    • October 22, 2010 at 1:35 pm

      Thanks. It is an amazing thing that I’m turning the corner and finding out just how great healing can be. Scary at times? You bet. But it gets easier and easier to reset. Miraculous isn’t it? 😉

  9. October 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    For some reason, my father didn’t want me anymore when I was around 11 years old, I think. Instead of being relieved, I felt rejected and thrown out.

    Thanks for sharing this with us for the blog carnival. I appreciate you strength and contribution.

    • Splinteredones said,

      October 23, 2010 at 2:27 pm

      Hi honey–I think I was 12-13 when it just…stopped. Spent alot of time in therapy being horrified at a normal kid reaction. Thanks for sharing your experience, everytime we speak it helps countless others. As you know ;).

  10. October 26, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    When I was 17 and said no to my dad and he stopped, I blamed myself for not being stronger sooner. The thing is, I said no a lot of times before that and he ignored the no and kept abusing me. He and I both realized that if he didn’t stop this time, I was strong enough to tell someone about the incest. He didn’t push and I didn’t tell. Thanks for sharing this.

    • Splinteredones said,

      October 26, 2010 at 2:24 pm

      Thank you for sharing as well, hon. It was really important for me to understand that it’s kinda…normal to have these feelings. Please don’t blame yourself. No child is to blame for sexual abuse. Not for when it starts/stops, not how it plays out, not for speaking up or not. NO child is ever to blame. Not even you or me.

  11. C-supportworker said,

    January 11, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    I just want to let you know that your blog is really special, and I think it’s wonderful that you’re speaking out about sexual abuse, and getting others on board. I’m a young social worker, looking to work in this field and I came upon your blog kind of accidentally. It’s really inspiring to hear survivors’ sides of the story in such honest ways. Please keep it up, and if you have any advice for support workers for victims of abuse from your pov, please let me know, as I would like to be supportive in the best way possible 🙂

    • January 11, 2011 at 3:26 pm

      I’m glad you find it helpful. Very few people realy reads this thing, so I’m always surprised when someone pops up. ;). I uaed to write alot, not so much nowadays. I guess I try to get my inner workings put as honestly and descriptively as i can, so what’s in here is pretty much what I think. Glad you find it useful, it’s why I do it!


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